Wise Questions Day 2

"What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows?" Proverbs 31:2

Children are known when they are very young for two distinct things. The declaration of the word "no", and asking "why?” For as long as I can remember the answer my brother and I got was "because I said so," and we normally left it at that, fearing that if we even moved our lips like we were talking back we would be picking them up soon after. I, too, dreaded the question "why" from my kids.... especially my Mini Me (Naria). My older two asked the more simplified question "why, Mommy?" It was cute and although it got very annoying after a few minutes and the Q & A session ended with "because," it was the light version. Theirs were questions about the sky being a different color, shoes being on the right feet and even me going to the hospital when it was time for Naria to be born (that one was funny). My Naria on the other hand, my lawyer in training, had to ask the hard questions as follows: "Naria, put your shoes on mama (long story on the nickname), we need to go." "Why, Mommy? Where are we going?" "I have to run some errands, Nar. Come on, get your shoes." "Why do you have to run errands?" "Because I have to pay people to keep lights on and water running. We also need to get groceries, unless you don't want to eat." "I do, but why do you need to pay people?" blah blah blah.... it would usually end up with me saying to this sweet child in appearance, "Naria do you know which letter in the alphabet Mommy doesn't like?" She would answer, "The letter "Y". But why?"

But questions, I am finding out are the only way we find out things. I'm thankful God is not like us parents! He allows us to ask why even when He is commanding us to do something. "But why do I have to give my last $20 to him? Cant he get a job?' or "Lord why do I have to forgive her? She really hurt my feelings!" or even, "Why is it that everybody around me is prospering but me?" That last one was recent for me.

The mother in this text is asking the important questions to her child, the thought provoking questions that ALL parents should be asking. "What are you doing?" This is an important question because if we as the parents don’t ask it, the world will. We should be asking this question to find out what their agenda is so that if something they are doing is not lining up with God's will for them; we can point it out and redirect them to Christ. If the world is allowed to ask, guess where they are directing them. We are the first arrow they will have pointing them to God.

In my You version devotion I am doing, Parenting by Design (awesome by the way!), I am learning just that. I am learning what battles to choose, what questions to ask and even what discipline really is versus punishment. I am noticing there is a lot more clashing going on in the house, but there is always disruption when you are renovating a house, especially when you are gutting out the inside completely. I am learning to love past their, well, what I see as their mistakes and disappointments. I am learning to love them into totally surrendered godly daughters and onlyiest son. How light this burden is for me now! Now don’t get me wrong, they don’t run amuck in my house, still. They don’t get to talk to me any kind of way, they don’t get to do whatever they want (which is torturing my youngest, who acts like the oldest) but they now have more freedom then they did when I was raising them according to what the world did.

I still ask questions. My kids can testify that they will still here, "What are you doing?" I have been asking that since they were just learning to walk and warned me of imminent trouble, they were getting into with their silence. I will continue when they have spouses, children and even grandkids, God give me life that long. I ask them that to know what they are doing at that time. I ask so that they know I care. I ask it as a warning, for them to think about what they are doing just as my mother asked me when I was digging my very deep pit to lay in. I appreciate her for that.

As adult kids we can see this question as meddling but then turn to ask our kids the same. I don’t care how old your children are, the kids in your neighborhood or even friends and family. Asking "what are you doing" can help them to see what they could be getting into if asked the right way. Galatians 6 says that we are to help a brother or sister gently and humbly. This is an open ended question that will do that if asked in a sincere way.

 Do this for me; ask 'what are you doing,' three different ways. Ask it first angrily, then sarcastically and last sincerely in the mirror. Think about which one you would respond to. Going from the Golden Rule of treating others as we want to be treated, how you take that if someone asked you? Then for the rest of the week, be conscious of how you ask this question. How you ask any question. And feel free to ask your teens other open ended questions to keep them from falling away. Like, "where are you going?", "what are you reading?" "What are you listening to?" "Who are you talking to?" and "how was your day? What did you do today?" is really important. The old lie that as your kids get older they need independence and privacy is still a lie! I tell my kids they can have full privacy when they leave the nest and independence when they can create what God did in 6 days.

I love the lesson I got from this text. To ask the wise and meaningful questions, and to listen. As much as my kids love to ramble on, I love to listen. And they can tell when I’m not! Listen to your children and the children around you before someone less concerned with them as they are with what they can do listens.

Father, I don’t always ask the right questions of people, but I do want to always ask the wise ones. Help me to do that with my kids and others. Help me to ask them in the right way and to listen when they answer. Wisdom is first found in the fear of You. As I seek You and Your righteousness, plant in me this fear of You so that I can implant it into those around me. In Jesus name, Amen.

If you have never known that wisdom comes first from fearing God or what fear of God even looks like, it's time you did. Jesus came that we might be saved from our lack of knowledge of God causing us to sin against His commands. He died while we were in the midst of sinning, not after we got our lives together. He then rose so that we could live in Him. Are you one He died for? If you are breathing, then you are. Say this prayer or one similar. God, I am a sinner, I can’t do this on my own. My questions aren’t as wise as I would like on my own. Help me! I do believe that You sent Your only Son to die for my many sins and then be raised from the dead so I can live in Him. I know that I am forgiven, and I thank You. I speak from my mouth that Jesus is Savior (saved me) and Lord (in control of me) of my life. Jesus come live in me, in Jesus name, Amen!

For those who said this prayer or one in your own words like it, WELCOME TO THE FAMILY!! For those who did not, I pray that you come to that conclusion quickly! He is waiting for you with open arms and love like you've never known! Do not delay, for tomorrow is not promised, only possible.